25.07.2021

 

Listening – that’s old news. Show me one or two people who haven’t heard or learned this. It’s a central component of every communication training program. Why that again?
Quite simply – because we don’t do it or do it only very superficially. And deep listening is the mega competence.
For me, for you, for executives.
But what exactly is Deep Listening?

Active listening

In the communication training courses already mentioned, there is indeed repeated talk of so-called “active listening“. Is this Deep Listening – the mega competence?
Yes, and only partially.

“Active Listening”, a model by Rogers, is often divided into three levels.
“Listening”, i.e. accompanying the conversation partner with non-verbal signals, such as nodding, eye contact, a facing body language and also with small sound signals, such as “mmh”, “ah” and similar.

Then there is “understanding”, or rather cognitive understanding. Here it is a matter of the listener being able to reproduce what has been said, preferably in his own words. And summarizing and mirroring what was said. Or even deepening or questioning what has been said with precise questions.

And the third level is then the “understanding” of the feelings. The perception of what moves the other person at the moment. And the ability to address this and to mirror it to the other person verbally and also through the body. This is already a very elaborate version of “listening”, because here it is necessary on the one hand to grasp emotions and then to be able to express them authentically at the same time. Not to mention the ability to empathize with the other person and perhaps even read between the lines.

Troublemakers while listening

Actually, active listening is quite simple. Then why shouldn’t it be successful?  Yes, it is quite simple. That’s why it rarely fails because of the toolset. And the toolset is what people like to address when they talk about “listening” and the skills they have already acquired here.

Knowledge about how to listen is actually available. It is just that it is often not used.

And this is due to the mindset or this troublemaker “EGO”, which would know, but does not like.
For whom it is simply too boring to adjust to the other person, to take oneself back and to direct one’s attention to the other person. It’s usually more fun to fill the cannon again for the next well-formulated salvo while the other person is saying something. In the spotlight of the stage. What absolutely has to be said again. And it has to be said now. And while one is on the way, one cannot listen. At least not to the other person.

Deep listening – the megacompetence

And this is exactly where Deep Listening – the megacompetence – clearly goes beyond Active Listening. It already begins with the fact that “listening” starts with oneself. And only after that listening to the other is possible at all.

The term Deep Listening has been used by several authors. The model of Deep Listening, which will now be looked at in more detail, comes from Otto Scharmer and is based on his Theory U. It includes four levels and distinguishes between “listening” to oneself and “listening” to the other.

It comprises a total of four levels and thus also differs from the model of Active Listening.
Here it is presented in a slightly modified form.

Level 1: Listening to oneself.

Deep Listening is based on the assumption that only those who are in contact with themselves can really listen. I.e. who is not distracted by his/her own EGO or external circumstances, but is completely present with him/herself. These people listen to themselves several times a day and take care to be in an inner balance. Techniques from the field of mindfulness are helpful for this.

Level 2: Listening to the Other.

When the presence is achieved in this way, this is a good basis for perceiving the outside, the other. Then what is said is received at all in calmness and a certain composure. Then one listens completely. First with the head.
In the contact this becomes immediately noticeable. The speaker thinks that he/she is being heard. He/she is allowed to speak, to take his/her time. The stress of having to be quick, of having to get a word in edgewise, eases for her/him as well.

Level 3: Perceive the other person with all senses.

There is then something more going on. If the “listening” goes beyond taking in the words in presence, then the heart is also used for perception at the same time as the head. Then the feelings and emotions play a role. Then the undertones are “heard” or read by the listener. We use the term “empathy” for this. Empathizing with the person you are talking to. The resonance with the other person.

Science assumes that our ability to feel empathy is created early in our socialization. Here, the model of “mirror neurons” is often cited, which describes an early resonance system of our brain.

If we perceive people not only with their thoughts but also with their feelings, then they will describe to us that a perceptible feeling of well-being arises. They then seek our proximity and get more involved.

At least up to this level, deep listening – the megacompetence should be practiced by managers today.

Level 4: Entering into a generative dialogue with intuition.

And it goes even beyond that, says the Four Levels of Listening model. We can also bring our intuition into play. Then we also “listen” with “sensing”. Then we let images and associations arise from what the other person says and what we “feel” in the process, and offer them in dialogue. As a rule, this sets a creative process in motion and a generative dialogue develops. An exchange in which something “beyond” is created. One or more impulses that take what was originally said a bit further, modify and transform it. Not forcefully from the outside, but from within.

This is then usually described by all participants as extraordinarily enriching and where possible meaning-giving. They then speak of a feeling of connectedness. Then Deep Listening – the megacompetence becomes a gift for both sides. For the one who is being listened to and for the one who is listening.

Future Communication Skill for Managers

And this last mentioned competence of integrating intuition and generative dialog is truly a Future Communication Skill that is actually a “must have” for managers of the future.

In a world where we are overwhelmed with information and hardly know where our heads are anymore – how are we supposed to understand each other. If not via the path of truly deep listening.

Admittedly, this has to be learned. And it takes a little time, because it needs to be practiced. But it is also rewarding in every way.
The best way to do this is to start over and go through all the levels of deep listening.
By the way, effective designs to follow this path are available at yoU for business.

And also we at TCJG offer a nugget with the same name “Future Communication Skills“.
You can reach us at TCJG to go.

And finally, here’s a video, Otto Scharmer explains the model here.

Deep Listening – the mega competence.
It works well with us.

What does “leadership begins with the self” mean? Leadership is primarily understood as leadership of employees or leadership of an organisation – using different techniques and methods. Sometimes the spot is on management, sometimes the ideas of leadership are focused. After all, these task are traditionally allocated to a manager. And when taking care of these tasks, he or she can fall back on countless ideas and approaches as to how these can be managed. Leadership begins with the employee or with the task or with governance. Why then focusing on the Self when it comes to leadership?

A completely different understanding of leadership

Let’s say leadership starts with the self. Then leadership would no longer be limited to the role of a leader. Actually, everybody would be a leader. Leadership would be embedded in the self. And if everybody leads him/herself, why do we need leaders after all? Then leadership in the best sense would be provided by everyone, driven by self-organisation. For this, a suitable culture with suitable principles and the most necessary norms is required. Besides that, a powerful purpose and a shining North Star is desirable. By the way, this has already been described by Charles Manz and Henry Sims in “Superleadership“.

Admittedly an ideal image, in the best case a target image. Until then there will still be leaders on the road and for them there are good reasons to start leading the self. Namely to be able to consciously shape certain parts of their own personality and thus their own effectiveness.

Self knowledge – a basic requirement for people in leadership

In fact, a precise knowledge of one’s self is not as common among managers as one might expect. In any case, in qualifications or management audits, it becomes apparent regularly that the image of others differs considerably from the self-image. It is therefore not easy for (prospective) managers to name or assess their motivation, competence or factual and emotional impact.

The perception named here corresponds with statements from employee satisfaction surveys or commitment studies, which make it clear that employees accuse their managers of not being authentic, too power-related or not close enough. When managers are confronted with these statements, it is often very surprising to see how they are perceived. Since this view does not correspond at all with their own assessment.

Now, however, a deeper self-knowledge can be seen as a basic requirement in working with other people. In order to avoid projections or to recognize counter-projections, to differentiate hypotheses from reality and in the sense of a safe assessment of situations and possible de-escalation of conflicts, a precise self-perception is essential.

Working on one’s own self-awareness is thus a first leadership task for managers. Feedback from colleagues/friends, reflection with a coach and participation in appropriate qualifications are suitable support in this respect. The topic is just getting hip. Currently, there are also a lot of offers on the market. Here for example an offer from TCJG.

Good leadership is a question of attitude

Self-management also means being aware of one’s own attitude in leadership and to maintain a reflected approach to it. This means knowing your personal values, beliefs and needs. And to understand these as the foundation for one’s own leadership actions.

In his book “Haltung entscheidet” Martin Permantier offers to differentiate between attitudes in six different clusters and follows as far as possible the Spiral Dynamics approach or Ken Wilber’s reflections on memes. An analysis of one’s own attitude by means of the classification presented in the book also helps to better understand and align one’s own actions. One’s individual attitude forges best – oneself and the team.

The examination of one’s own attitude should be a further matter of course for managers, just like self-knowledge. Only those who can clearly name their attitude are in a good position to check whether it fits in with the corporate culture or whether “forced adjustments” need to be made, which are then perceived by the environment as inauthentic or manipulative.

At the same time, the attitude shapes the role model demanded by the manager. Authenticity will only be perceived if attitude is repeatedly experienced in coherent action.

Then it is also reliable to follow traditional or always new leadership models. Whether they are called “Servant Leadership” or “Human Leadership”, “Connected Leadership” or “Agile Leadership”. If one’s own attitude represents the spirit of the organization in which the leader works and if one’s own heart sets the pace, there is no need for static guidelines from the model catalogue.

Updating knowledge about innovation is of course something else. It is indispensable. But not only for managers.

Self-management wants to be practised

When self-knowledge is acquired and one’s own attitude is reflected upon, then there is still the behavioural level. If you know what makes you “tick” and what impacts your own actions and if your own effect can be described and there is awareness of how your own behaviour shapes the culture in the team, then you can proactively shape your actions consciously.

This is at first a question of will, in the sense of what I want to contribute to, my own purpose, which describes why I stand up every day as a leader. Then there is the ability, that describes how I will act, how I express what I want to get my team to do, how I go about designing. And then there is action, that shows what I do exactly, when and how often, in order to put will and ability into action.

While the purpose is best identified and formulated in peace, stillness and with some distance, the development and expansion of skills and procedures and, above all, consistent action is a longer process that usually takes place in iterations. Thus, an intention is followed by a period of experimentation and then again and again by practice. Until doing becomes a habit. On the way, discipline is usually required, as it is known from sports. Practice again and again, do not give up. Somehow this is like training for a marathon.

Resilience can’t hurt. Setbacks are part of it, especially when disturbances come from outside. A conflict situation within the team, a new supervisor, pressure from sales numbers.

Tips to ensure that leadership starts with the self

With a powerful driver, your own purpose backing you up and a goal of where you and your team should go, it will be easier to stay on the learning path.

It is proven to be a good idea to visualize both. In other words, to create a picture of one’s own “what for” and the desired result (vision) in one’s head or even on paper.

Rituals can be used for the daily behavioural routine. Just as you go jogging every day, for example, each day can begin with 15-20 minutes of reflection and alignment. Or one day a month can be scheduled for the “self”. Very important on the learning journey to oneself/with oneself are feedback sessions to check if the intended effect is achieved. Regular lunches with colleagues or employees can be helpful to allow space for this.

Becoming a manager is certainly not always easy, being a manager is a challenge, especially a manager who fills his role with charisma. As surveys show us again and again, it is more or less easy to master this challenge.

Those who are more successful are either natural talents or they have set out on their own journey to become themselves. An exciting journey by the way. And a rewarding one. Because leadership starts with the self.

 

Would you like to shape that?

This is something we´re good at.

 

Leadership in its present form no longer seems to work. Looking at the level of employee leadership, none of the leadership models of the recent past can currently secure a sustainable place on the podium. Probably also because leadership appears more comprehensively for managers. They are currently usually strategists, managers and leaders and today also innovators and change agents in one person.

The excessive demands are not far away. At the same time, the needs of employees fall by the wayside. It can’t, probably won’t stay that way. So where will leadership develop into?

How leadership still shows itself today

Today we often still meet executives who have learned their trade in the big schools of management and leadership, whether in St. Gallen or Harvard or … and have practiced over many years with sometimes more, sometimes less success. They are still involved in classic line or matrix structures, usually in a double mission as managers and leaders.

Mostly measured by the results that can best be expressed in hard figures – whether these are figures related to production or sales of products and services or figures that reflect the satisfaction of customers or the team.

At the same time, however, there is an increasing demand in these areas: to give meaning to one’s own actions and those of the team or to make them visible, to discover and develop talents and to see and enable each individual team member. And, last but not least, make sure that the processes are adapted to an ever-increasing dynamism and at the same time are already being acted on using scrum & Co agile.

And how leadership is lived at the moment

Sometimes we meet completely different managers in the here and now. Those who grew up in the last named “school”. They have learned from the outset not to think and act in long, medium and short-term planning cycles but rather in backlogs and sprints.

They have always been project orientated, are at home in the agile manifesto and are well aware of the importance of customer centricity. Team spirit is their elixir. Managers who do not distinguish between entrepreneurs and leaders. Their names are different. They name themselves owner or master and they are part of the team. In their understanding, it is also the group that counts, less the individual and his needs and development.

As a rule, however, these “managers” don’t really find their place in the classic silos and have a great deal of difficulty with the required “management-suitable” slide flows, the benefits of which they don’t see at all.

Managers are increasingly in question

Let’s face it, being an executive today is far from desirable. One of the named types is torn between the different requirements and expectations, even today driven by the classic pattern of goal achievement in time. The growing demands of a changing workforce, be it Generation X or Generation Y and Z, are increasingly demanding.

In fact, employee retention figures today are often not good, as the latest Gallup Engagement Index shows. This is a trend that is continuing and is exerting even more pressure on managers who are already working hard. The most questioned one is the direct manager, who is unable to live up to the expectations of his employees.

On the other hand, if one asks managers what they see as the reason why “leadership is less and less successful”, one hears of a lack of concentration, a rapid flood of stimuli, generally lower competence set-ups, especially in a dynamic environment and fear of making decisions. Or from a reluctance to face change, a so-called “fixed mindset” of the older generation of employees.

Together with the colleague who comes from an agile childhood, the manager outlined here increasingly experiences emotional overload reactions. Even if for different reasons. Both are not happy in the current structure and have a rather manageable happiness index.

Leadership does (not) meet the expectations of employees

And they’re not alone. If we change perspectives, we can draw an even more critical picture on the employee side.

Even if employees show themselves slightly more satisfied with an agile manager. All in all, however, the leader doesn’t really come off well. Only the fun and joy factor is usually rated a little higher in this management concept.

If one asks the employees, however, their subjective view is that they learn too little personally, are not sufficiently empowered and are not appreciated by their superiors. Or that there is a lack of responsiveness to their individual needs, such as reconciling work and family life or dealing with the increasing dynamics of work. Many employees today have the impression that they are not developing fast enough or are not able to contribute their talents. They do not feel sufficiently informed and not sufficiently perceived as human beings. In their eyes, individual support should be given even more weight.

Instead, they experience that their supervisor measures and aligns them by numbers, at least in the classical structure. Too little work is done in a team and that motivation often suffers from a feeling of pressure.

New leadership concepts alone do not solve the central challenge

The attempts to solve these challenges with approaches such as Transformational Leadership” or more recently “Servant Leadership” have not yet led to a lasting change in the situation.

They subjectively generate more happiness in the individual and thus make a significant contribution on the way to a more humane working environment. With this kind of leadership, the fulfillment of the expectations of the employees is better secured than with conventional formats.

However, the actual challenge is not solved in this way – the combination of the requirements of promotion and demand bundled in one person at the same time. Whether on the part of the manager or that of the employee, a bottleneck always arises. How authentic and unconditional is promotion if at the same time the focus is on output? And where will the individual contribute his or her energy when numbers and people compete?

And then there was something else – the customer

To make it round. We haven’t even talked about the third in the alliance, the internal or external customer yet. The customer, of whom we know that his expectations are mutating by leaps and bounds. The fact that he is becoming more and more “unpredictable” or demands to be analyzed very precisely, observed and understood.

To create products and services that uniquely live up to customer’s wishes is the aim. To establish wow-experiences and fulfil customer needs, even if the customer is not aware of these yet.

No, the customer no longer deviates from his expectations and requirements. On the contrary. He experiences confirmation in the fact that the fulfillment of his concerns has the highest attention. Many machines and systems are finding it easier and easier to identify customer needs in time and propose suitable solutions at the same time.

In order to always be up to date here and to meet this pressure of expectation appropriately, it is imperative to give the customer’s voice a greater hearing in a timely manner and to prioritize his point of view.

Where is leadership heading?

“Leadership” in the sense of a healthy and sustainable organization can and should therefore be viewed from three perspectives: employee, customer, performance. The competences required to cope with the tasks in the respective dimensions are very different.

Ideally, the potpourri of skills required can hardly be provided by one person alone. Not only because this is an enormous demand on the skills profile of a single person. Rather it is for the high-level personnel itself, above all even more for coworkers, a difficult balancing act to present themselves in contradictory roles authentically.

How credible is a person who, at the same moment, makes a claim for excellent quality that is justified from the customer’s point of view and demands its implementation from the employee, whom he should simultaneously develop and promote in his role as a promoter?

People at all levels of organizations are increasingly exposed to this dilemma. Which voice should be followed? How passionately can a point of view be represented? How authentic or manipulative is a leader in the eyes of an employee? And, what should the employee orientate himself to? Today the demand for excellence and quality? And tomorrow to be encouraged to build on individual strengths?

Another dilemma arising from this management model is talent development. Should a manager, who today is still primarily measured by performance records, report his real high potentials in talent pools and thereby bear the risk of suffering a loss of competence in the team? A real conflict.

Quite apart from the fact that leadership is transferred to the shoulders of the team in the medium term, current theories of organizational development are believed.

And what if we simply rethink that?

We are currently working on what this might look like in concrete terms. Today, tomorrow and beyond.

More about that in another blog.