Leadership suffering? A recent coaching case with an experienced executive motivated us to present this case. Suffering is a term that has been coined by this coachee. The more intensively he got into working with himself, the more this topic gained in depth. For him. And probably not only for him.

How contemporary is “suffering”?

Suffering and leadership – is it at all opportune to use such a term today? A double yes is the answer.
On the one hand, it speaks for the fact that Goethe already showed us in “The Sorrows of Young Werther”, that the one who loves, suffers in the end. To associate leadership with love is a beautiful and thoroughly contemporary thought.
On the other hand, after many years under the primacy of “positive thinking” and the consequent reinterpretation of every attitude and statement into a “respectful formulation”, we are slowly allowing ourselves to name limiting thoughts and feelings again. This can be interpreted as a contribution to authenticity and to being human. And then there is a place for suffering. Above all, for those who come from a socialization where tolerating, accepting and bearing were still among the common virtues. And there are of course quite a few of them.

Managers are human

How could it happen that the coachee, trained at the best leadership schools in the world according to the latest leadership theories, came into contact with his own suffering? He probably does not belong to the category of ignorant managers, who are only able to see themselves, immune to change and not interested in their environment at all. It’s rather the opposite, he loves his job, taking people along, inspiring and at the same challenging and encouraging them.

Suffering slowly crept in over the years. At first rather unnoticed, which was also owed to the ideas of “positive thinking”. Then repressed and negated, probably due to personal socialization. At some point, sadness could no longer be repressed because one’s own values and self-efficacy were no longer sufficiently expressed. And the rage about how he was trapped in a role, again and again trying to adapt in all possible directions.

The employee satisfaction survey came along, where several requirement hat to be satisfied. Therefore, it was always better to be friendly, to never criticize or demand too much of anyone. It is best to practice indifference and distance. On the other hand, there was the pressure in terms of the numbers that had to be proven. If necessary, why not invest yet another night shift. Not to forget the employees, who felt that they received too little attention, but were increasingly quick to express their frustration loudly and quite often without the self-imposed appreciation. Personal needs were overlooked and had to be held back – social contacts, culture or simply fun in life became increasingly rare. Just ticking things of, ticking, ticking, ticking. And at some point, it didn’t work any longer, even with the negation, and he became aware of his “suffering”.

Is suffering really necessary?

It was obvious to take up this question in a suitable coaching context. And that like a sting into a wasp’s nest. No, of course not, the mind will say. Yes, the heart will respond, of course. It’s all about something. About one’s own values. Reliability, responsibility, love for the tasks and the people around him. Caring about the success of the company, the team and the individual. Self-efficacy and pride.
The basic assumption: Perseverance, tolerance and acceptance are the toll. The belief: If I only exert myself enough, I can manage it in the end. With the two of them pretty much inevitably leading to “suffering”. The head understood that, too.

From suffering to meaning

The recognition of what had worked so far over all the years while deforming the personality without even being perceived was a like a (healing) shock. And the trigger for one’s own transformation. At the beginning, there was the confrontation with the “suffering of leadership”, its roots and reasons in the here and now. At this point, the coachee found the methods of mindfulness and focused attention particularly helpful. Through this way he was able to find a better access towards himself again. Some everyday situations were reassessed and will certainly be dealt with differently in the future.

However, the found working on his own purpose to be particularly effective. He focused on his individual WHY (Simon Sinek) within his role. He named the meaning of his actions for the first time and subsequently redefined leadership for himself. For himself and in his team, he now relies heavily on self-management. He consistently hands over responsibility to his team. One example that has helped him a lot was working with the “Delegations Poker” of Management 3.0. The exciting effect is that he now has noticeably more time for himself, and without any additional effort of his own a significantly higher satisfaction among the people in his team.

In any case, the suffering has found an end and is now replaced by what one calls the “Purpose of Leadership”.

During our own Company Future Journey, we have received valuable gifts from our customers. They let us know openly and willingly what really matters to them when it comes to an effective cooperation with a service provider. We are very grateful for this and have learned a lot during this process. We are happy to share these experiences with you here. Especially since we are convinced that they can be multiplied infinitely.

The Journey towards Understanding

In the course of our own realignment, we also set out to fully understand our (potential) customers. To do so, we spent dedicated time in an observer position, taking a metaphorical perspective. What moves our customers, how do they act, what is important to them – and what is not. What might they value and what makes them feel disturbed? Next, we formed hypotheses and verified each of them in discussions with a sample consisting of both, our customers as well as potential interested parties. This was an educational process. Some hypotheses turned out to be correct, while others were just over the top. And some other perspectives we had not even grasped yet. We therefore describe our impressions as a valuable gift from our customers.

The Canvas of Significant Insights

The results of our observations and survey – the described valuable gifts – were depicted on a TCJG Customer Value Proposition Canvas. All findings were first sorted according to “tasks” (customer jobs), “needs” (gains) and “pain” (pains). This process step was extremely clarifying, because it triggered a change of perspective. Above all, an overview over “pain” ensured that ideas for customer-specific solutions could emerge.

Today, valuable gifts from our customers such as these are the foundation for the design of all our services. We verify every idea to see whether it is in line with our clients’ perspective. And we always first focus on the benefits, which our work brings to our customers. And which set us apart from other providers in the long term. This is what we understand by customer centricity.

A Company Future Journey is a very familiar topic for us. Since our foundation, “The Company Journey Guides” have accompanied people and organizations in a variety of ways on their journey of finding an identity, cultural design, reorientation of business models as well as working and learning formats.
We know about the power of a vision and have learned to appreciate and prioritize the value of a purpose. We have often been able to experience how individuals and teams regain their full strength when the meaning of their own actions becomes clear, or how each of their strengths can be brought to bear. Sometimes we have even experienced a silence which occurs when it becomes clear how personal values and needs are in line with those of the organisation.
And yes, we have also gained experience with the fact that every change is gladly repressed and rejected initially before the path through resistance leads the way to shaping the new.

Departure – every beginning is hard

At the beginning of this year we set off on our own journey again. Our experiences during our projects gave us the courage and drive to start our own TCJG Company Future Journey.
It was easy to set off so far, questioning everything and verifying its future sense and suitability.
At the same time there were doubts and appeasements. Everything is actually (still) going well. And we have enough to do. Why should we now expose ourselves to a “pupation”? Especially since we know that our journey will lead through the four fields of the Change House (Claes F. Janssen). Defensiveness and resistance need to be expected along the way.
Things became turbulent right at the beginning. At first, we didn’t agree, neither about our departure nor about the direction. Leaving our comfort zone, even if it was just mentally, caused stress.
At the same time, it became obvious: now is the right time to leave. There was already a big crack in the cocoon. And a butterfly was waiting for us.

Start with the WHY

Following the principles of Simon Sinek , the first part of our journey led us to the WHY, the description of our Purpose.
Along this way we first dealt intensively with our past, our achievements and effectiveness. We reviewed our values and the motives for our actions. We found that our: values (mindfulness, truthfulness, sustainability) still remain valid.
At the same time, we analysed our strengths and identified what makes us unique.

We then asked ourselves what really mattered to us. Then we quickly agreed: human beings. And their unique and unmistakable contribution to shaping a company’s future.
We had already arrived at the “Purpose” and the caterpillar had hatched.

Taking time during the HOW

The short rest at our Purpose made it clear to us how invigorating it is for the entire team and it therefore was a real pleasure to continue our journey. Very quickly, the “Silver Line” on the horizon became clear. That’s where we should be heading. We empower people and organizations to shape their future and actively contribute to making this possible. WOW!

During our HOW, the development of the Governance and the Guiding Principles then again became somewhat bumpy. This is exactly where it comes down to business if you are to take this journey seriously. How exactly would we like to offer our services? What unites us in this regards? What don’t we want any longer, even though it is well familiar to us and makes us feel safe? What do we stand up for with all our strength and also ready to go the extra mile? What can our customers rely on? When do we say yes and when no?

That was really challenging and sent our team through another new process. Frankly, the doubts and concerns came back. And not everyone was always happy. Especially since it became clear that certain beloved habits would not continue to travel with us.

The result were eight Guiding Principles and four areas, of how we work. And now we are really happy with them. We have set them as a measure for ourselves and thus become effective accordingly.

We have learned: Allow enough time with the HOW. It just takes time. Well, caterpillars, just the same, take their time and move slowly.

Arriving at the WHAT via our customers

Before we actually turned off to the “WHAT”, we took a long detour via our customers. Following the principles of design thinking, we first wanted to find out and understand what they exactly need and what their concerns might be. Where do they see added value and why would they need our support at all?

We created personas for this purpose and looked at the world from their perspective. This was a very enlightening process that we can recommend to every organization and every team. We then carried out a Customer Value Proposition for these personas and were able to sharpen our HOW once again.

Then came the exciting moment: matching the focus of our customers with our core competencies and strengths. And four new and inspiring business areas emerged from this: Mindset first, Leadership? – Leader-Shift!, Zeitgeist L&OD and Hero Customer.

Now is the time to make them come to life. We already possess a certain amount of services and product offerings for these areas from our past and will contribute them accordingly. Others are currently under development, following the DT principles of iteration with our customers. There is still a long way to go. Consequently, our Company Future Journey will continue even further.

Some of our previous services also had to be left behind. They simply no longer have a place in our new travel baggage. We’ve already said goodbye to some of them, while for others this process is still outstanding. This is of course a little bit sad.

And yet: the butterfly is now unfolding its wings. It is magnificent and multi-faceted. And it is the future.